What I Would Do With A Million Dollars

­­­Are you there Santa? It’s me, Jordan.

Did you ever play the game MASHCO? Basically, it’s a game that predicted who you’re going to marry, what car you’re going to drive, and whether you’re going to live in a mansion, apartment, shed, house, condo or outhouse. Basically, the most accurate fortuneteller of all time.

Just kidding, because if it was I’d drive a convertible to my mansion with my husband who never moved away from the small town we grew up in. Problem with this is: convertibles in Illinois are not practical enough for me, mansions are way too hard to clean nor will I ever be able to afford it, and I love the city way too much.

The best thing about being young was that the possibilities for your life seem endless. It was easy to imagine ourselves as the fabulous people we saw in movies.

In reality, there’s only one problem: life.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t dream! That’s why I took a minute to list what I would do with a million dollars. Because what’s wrong with being completely materialistic every once in a while and dreaming about those Louboutin shoes you’ll never get to have? Think of it as my kind of motivational career post.

Okay maybe you’re right. I have too much time on my hands.

If I had a million trillion gazillion dollars, I would buy:

A super chic condo in Lincoln Park close to the lake. Just a humble abode that suites my needs until I want to make babies.

1. All the chicest home décor to decorate said condo. (Decorated by someone I hire, of course. Aint nobody got the time to hang frames.)
2. Taylor Swift’s wardrobe. Or Blake Lively’s wardrobe. I’d settle for either one.
3. Oh, and while we’re on the topic: Blake Lively’s hair. There’s gotta be a salon somewhere that I could pay a large sum of money to turn my hair into Victoria’s Secret model hair, right?
4. All the laundry services. Laundry … blech. Someone just do it for me, already.
5. A midnight blue Jeep Grand Cherokee for road trips. Plus a black Audi for city driving. Please and thank you.
6. A yacht. That I conveniently store on Lake Michigan. And hire someone to drive for me.
7. All the nice dinners. Just all the food in general. Fancy restaurants every night, expensive ingredients always in stock in my large-enough pantry, and room service. In my house.
8. A really amazing web designer for my blog. To make it look beautiful and not like I made my own header in 4 minutes.
9. Cabin in the woods. For when I get sick of the Chicago fumes. With a fireplace. On a lake.
10. A private jet to take me on regular weekend trips.
11. Concert tickets to see Fleetwood Mac, Pearl Jam, Beyonce, Lana del Rey, Mumford and Sons, and Ellie Goulding. Okay, I can afford these now. But they’re going into my list anyways.
12. Makeup. That makes me look like Beyonce. Is that too much to ask!?
13. A dog. Plus a really really nice doggie daycare so it doesn’t have to stay home alone all day.
14. All the personal grooming help. Think: mani/pedi, waxing, facials, etc.
15. Regular spa days. With robes and slippers and relaxing music and champagne.
16. More friends. Haha just kidding.

So there’s my list. For now, I guess I’ll just keep working hard with this list as my motivation.

Always remember: Any pizza’s a personal pizza if you set your mind to it.